life cycle of a rubix cube

[m1serabl3_n_stunn1ng]

sorry i was never the shape you wanted me to be
i am a conglomerate of orphan puzzle pieces loosely held together,
boxes scattered and long forgotten
a picture so ugly and contorted i can't even identify what i once was.

suicide is a double-edged sword
but what's the difference in the flames if i'm already in them?
an escape hatch to hell or another day's work

if i had one question for the big man above it would go as follows:
why can't i quit while i'm ahead?
if i made it an accident would you know the difference?

if my body's a temple, this one's in ruins
my deck's full of aces and my sleeve's full of tricks
a sleeve of kitten scratches and a drawer full of goodbye notes is all i'd leave

tattooed angel wings is as close as i'll get
i can only hope they're inked with enough conviction to fool a far-sighted angel
i'll hit my head on the gate but maybe i'll get to stay if i smile real bright
i want to sing with choirs and fit into halos
i want to be holy
i love my savior, but does he love me?