hw mch scknss ds t tk

[m1serabl3_n_stunn1ng]

i often daydream about collapsing.

knees buckingly beneath the weight of nothing of much use
my joints creak at each step i take forward
with no support of sustenance, hollow holes only add to the things that drag me down
empty yet heavy, important unimportance of one's self
you may not find nourishment valuable, but the body doesn't know any better

to fall forward in a public space and collide with the ground beneath itself
result of my mistreatment, bloody mess of tile, or carpet, or pavement, or earth
become a spectacle in a hospital bed
wrapped tight enough to not crumble apart for a little while longer
temporary remedies yet no cure.

sometimes it feels as though those dreams may manifest themselves as my reality.