i’m not jealous

[m1serabl3_n_stunn1ng]

you can always tell when something is going to die,

when tired bones creak into place and settle there, shallow breath

animals hide in holes and corners, out of sight, out of mind, but we aren’t animals, so why hide?

the smell of chemical spray over the scents of decay, lining hospital tiles.

my heart is an ER victim and you’re a hospital bed,

uncomfortable comfort used to be healing,

now blood stains my sheets.

zip me up, doc. my time here is ran out long ago, if i ever had any to begin with.

i could never read clocks, i’ve been a minute late and a dollar short my entire life.

sometimes it feels like i’m the secondary character in your movie.

get the cameras away from me, i’d like to be alone now.

i said i’d like to be alone now.

i hope you understand how much you’ve made me grow to hate you,

and i’m still ever the apologetic bastard about it.

god, am i a bastard. your bastard, til death do we part.

bloody knuckles and battered faces,

until my bruised hands wrap around your throat and squeeze until

tidal waves of blue wash over your skin,

and i’d yell and scream about how much i hate you now.

maybe you’d finally feel how i feel.

i would kiss you if i could.

maybe the shapes around our necks still fit together as one.

don’t make me worse.

xoxo, with love.