happy 4th

[m1serabl3_n_stunn1ng]

hey dreamwidthers. long time no see. i’ve been busy with work and among other things.

happy forth of july if you celebrate!

i saw fireworks in the city today. it was like one of the coolest firework shows i’ve ever seen and i’ve seen lots of those cause my parents are really into fireworks. it was bright and loud and all sorts of stuff. if i get to choose how i was gonna die i’d wanna do it like that. in a big chemical reaction in the sky and i turn 13 different colors and glitter and shine and everyone is like “whoa”. seems pretty cool to me.

but yeah. being in the city reminds me of new york, but just about everything reminds me of new york. driving through streets that look like manhatten and long island. they even have graveyards in residential areas! i know nothing will make me feel like i’m still there and nothing still ties me there either. two years homesick, fingerscrossed. still kicking however, to some people’s dismay.

my ex best friend recently texted in the long forgotten groupchat. he didn’t say anything valuable like an apology or anything. just “bruh”. nobody responded. it was really random. i wish i knew what he was trying to gain from that but i guess i’ll never know. he still sort of keeps me up at night, but it’s not as bad anymore. you just have to learn how to deal with the fact that you’ll never know why people decide to hurt you. you just have to get over it, or don’t and hate yourself forever. dealer’s choice.

i saw these beautiful apartments today, they looked all gothic and were almost on the outskirts of fort worth. i saw a future in those buildings. they were crazy. i don’t even know what the interior looks like but i love them anyways.

oh my gosh HOW could i forget. i finally went to my fall out boy show!!!!! it was epic. pete wentz was there. i bought two shirts, 18 bottles of water, 3 redbulls and i got two kandi bracelets!

i also recently got the worst 38 dollar haircut ever. my bangs are different fucking lengths you guys. it’s terrible. i’m still learning how to style it. wish me luck before my self esteem dies.

the moon is big and orange right now. i’m in a city and the air is cool. it almost feels like home but it’s too clean here. it’s still pretty. god i’ll never shut up about home. the day i stop talking about new york is the day an alien creature has stolen my identity and i must be shot on sight for the sake of the human race.

i have shitty internet right now so this probably won’t even go through. but if it does;

xoxo, go eat some fireworks you eagle-fucker.